I was shopping for a traveling bag today. It had to be big with lots of pockets and light so it won’t bother my scoliosis.

At the store I picked, poked and unzipped almost every bag to see which would fit my criteria. Then passed them to the sales lady who had to put everything back. Finally she said, “What do you want a big bag or a light bag?” It was a bit too rude for me but I had to ignore that ticked-off feeling I had and focus on getting myself a good bag. I never have time to go shopping so I’m not going to make this lady ruin it for me.

Good thing she went away. But soon I was followed by another sales man. As he helped me pick a bag, I thought, “Here we go again, can’t they just leave me alone so I can decide which one I want.”

I finally narrowed down to my top 2 choices. Both fit my criteria. It looked like the sales man was quietly watching me make a decision but luckily not up my nose while I was. He then approached me and said that my choice A was stronger than choice B, because it had reinforcement padding (that I didn’t notice because I was only looking at size, pockets and weight). I thought, “Finally! A kind gesture and useful information!”

It was a really different experience compared to the first sales lady so I wanted to somehow reward his kind gesture. So I thanked him for the very useful advice. He smiled with a sense of pride. Then before leaving he said, “Please keep the receipt so that if there are any problems with the item, you can return it within a week.” That’s my winner sales man!

It’s much like the son-rise program for autism. We always reward Nathan and Amor (and even my neurotypical, Ian) for all the accomplishments they make, big or small. Like:
– thank you for looking at me while asking.
– thank you for asking so nicely (with no tantrums while demanding).
– thank you for saying sorry to your sister (that’s Ian, who at age 4, believes he’s always right and doesn’t want to say sorry).

Those little thank you’s go a long way and I see my kids aim higher next time around just as the great sales man wanted to continue giving me useful tips after I thanked him for the first one.