On building relationships

Nathan is so much more flexible. Like after bed time, if he asks for a snack, he can accept a “No” for an answer with the explanation that night time is for sleeping. Pre-Son-Rise days, denial of food would always lead to major tantrums! I’m sure many autism parents can relate.

Nathan has been so flexible, I realize I easily take it for granted. Like, I think he’s not going to cry anyway, so usually reply, “No, you can’t have it” or “Wait/later”.

That does have drawbacks…

Papa, on the the other hand, still practices the fantastic Son-Rise “yes” attitude (The same good stuff that got Nathan to talk with intentional speech, want to communicate, be more expressive, be more persistent, be more flexible …we got so much from just having the “yes” attitude). So for example, even if Papa is having dinner and Nathan requests the guitar, Papa will get up and play the guitar for Nathan. Nathan gets “yes, yes, yes!” from Papa all the time (except if safety or health will be affected).

So now, Papa is Nathan’s favorite parent. He gets the big smiles from Nathan all the time. He’s Nathan’s go-to person. As for Mama…well, I’m that boring parent who always says “No” so lately Nathan hasn’t been as excited around me.

I guess this doesn’t only apply to special needs kids. Who wants to be around parents who say “no” all the time?

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