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The blessing of Siblings!

I know my youngest, Ian, was given to me for a reason!Lately he as been “fighting” with Amor and forgetting that she still has special needs. I explained the importance of helping her get to recovery by simply making her happy. Amor has heightened sensory issues, which gets worse with environmental or emotional stimulation. Simply getting her to a happy, comfortable mode, puts down her defences and helps her to function regularly. Continuous happy situations, helps her build and grow helpful/functional Brainhighways.
Here’s our plan:
When Amor is irritable, Ian has to remember that she is being like that, not to make others mad, but because of her special needs/prematurity. Telling her to stop it, criticising her, or yelling at her (which are some of the options Ian has been doing lately) does not help her at all. While dealing with Amor, checking our emotions, and choosing to be happy will help her get back to a happier disposition. So when the situation pops up again, I can remind Ian of our plan to choose a happier disposition. I asked him what code word we can use so it will be easier to remind him. I suggested “happy voice please”, Ian said he wanted to use “Plan H” as in “H” for happy. Excellent choice!
Since it was such as good plan, I decided to push it further and ask Ian to help me in another situation: At the playground, no body really likes playing with Amor because she grabs toys or is trigger happy with her words. I also told Ian that he was so fantastic at making friends and in fact has super powers because he gets many friends (and adults) to follow his games. He can use his super powers to demonstrate to other children how to be kind to Amor, how to be patient with her and how to play with her. Children only need examples to follow, to bring out the kindness in them. To remind him is his role, we chose “Super Hero H” as our code word πŸ˜€
We’re looking forward to our next challenge and I believe Ian will be a fantastic super hero and super brother to Amor.

  

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Travel trooper

I have always hated vacations because it’s never really a vacation if you have special needs kids plus the journey is usually just filled with tantrums that I had to manage. But my twins are doing so much better and I’m more excited about family reunion than the stress of traveling.  
Nathan was such a trooper during our 23-hour travel from Singapore to Virginia. I had been preparing the kids about this long trip, mostly to avoid or minimise tantrums, but I never really knew how much Nathan understood or if he was even listening. On the big day, Nathan had a smile on his face so I asked him. 

Me: Nathan, what will be be riding later?

Nathan: A taxi.

Me: Of course! Where will the taxi bring us?

Nathan: To the airport.

Me: Yes, what will we ride at the airport?

Nathan: An airplane.

Me: Yes! Where will be go?

Nathan: To America.

Me: Yey! And who will we visit in America?

Nathan: Tita Fevi!

Apparently, Nathan knew perfectly well what was going on.

As for the trip, Nathan, was super good. Once in a while he would have light crying sounds (as if he knew not to bother other passengers). Then he would tap me and ask, “I want to ride the wheelchair and go na?” I would explain to him that the plane was still in the air and had several hours more to go and he would be good with that!  

Nathan is such a good traveller! And so is his twin sister, Amor, who was true to her word and said she would be a big sister and be quiet in case Nathan cried and I needed to settle him.

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Today

The amazing thing about the son-rise program, is not what it will do for my twins tomorrow…it’s what’s it’s doing for me, the parent, today.
I have stopped seeing the deficits of my twins. I have stopped guessing about how dim their future might be because they cannot do many skills. I see their beauty. As I focus on that, they grow like mustard seeds. They’ve got unique skills, even social skills, the the world will want one day πŸ˜‰
I’ve stopped torturing myself for the wrong medical practices I chose for my kids. Instead I optimistically look ahead and see a vast array of options to help undo vaccine and antibiotic injury.

Knowing that it was only a matter of conquering my fears, I’ve stopped “asking” other family members or friends to provide comfort me. Instead, I have tried to best-guess what others might feel, what are the “fears”, and how might I provide comfort for them….or just stay of their lives if they don’t need me anyways 😏

Indeed everything that’s has happened to my life, happened for a reason.  

Today, life is giving me it’s best!