Not by my strength but by His

My tears were pouring as I sang praise and worship songs at church.
In 2006, we knew soon after the premature birth of my twins that Nathan had Cerebral Palsy (CP). Doctors said that he might never walk. I told myself that I would conquer this mountain in front of me as we started our early journey of physical therapy. Nathan walked at age 3, with a cerebral palsy gait.
In they journey, it felt like I was holding a shovel trying to scoop away the mountain. I wanted Nathan to run. Eventually Doctors revealed that we were facing life ahead with autism for Nathan. Furthermore, Amor’s Global Developmental Delay (GDD) was becoming more apparent. Every year, she was falling cognitively further behind her peers. At age 4, she developed Myoclonic Epilesy. At that time, it wasn’t just a mountain, but the whole world toppled on top of me and I became numb.
I didn’t know why, but somehow I knew that, in time God would reveal why my family and I had to go through all that. The human part of me gave up. “Time to throw away the shovel,” I thought and accept what’s happening.
But faith kept me searching. All I wanted was to find Doctors and Therapists to help Nathan be functional – maybe to eat by himself or to say/communicate few words. And to help my fighter Amor to cope.
God gave me something better. He empowered me, through the Son-Rise Program® to be my twin’s best therapist. My twins started progressing amazingly! He gave me a community of autism warrior moms. Health began to improve with complementary therapies and Amor’s seizures was controlled and we eventually weaned her off anti-epilesy meds successfully. This time I had a bulldozer and I could get back to work to start flattening the mountain in front of me again. “I have a lot to do,” I told myself, “but all I need to do was be consistent and in time I will flatten the mountain!”
Past year, we were invited to listen to the Gospel of Grace, the tremendous LOVE that God has already poured for us through Christ, who took our sins, our burdens, MY CHILDREN’S SICKNESS, when He gave Himself up at the cross.
Understanding God’s love for me helped me understand why Son-Rise® is so powerful. It helps us, parents, manifest our UNCONDITIONAL love for our children with autism, the way God loves us FIRST, without asking us to change or to be good. It’s His love first (not our weak efforts to stick to the law or try to do good) that helps us become better members of society.
Today, I have a bigger revelation…It will not be by my strength no matter how gigantic my bulldozer is, but by HIS LOVE for me, that this mountain in front of me, will pick itself up and throw itself into the sea. As I have been declaring the blood of Christ, spilled so that Nathan’s health can be resorted, we have been experiencing his cognitive and physical healing. Sweet princess Amor is emerging from the sensory issues that clouded her personality. I myself, had eczema on my hands for 2 years, and simply knowing that God loves and will heal my children, has has healed my eczema completely.
At church, my tears continued to pour, as we sang praise and worship songs. I know with full confidence that everything taken away from me and my children will be fully restored because God loves me.

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