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I am not a patient parent

Patience will make me a less effective parent.
Patience implies I don’t really like it, but I have to live with it and just manage my demeanour. 

Patience gets people burnt out fast! 

I parent out of enjoyment and celebration. 

When Nathan shows autistic, repetitive behaviours, I celebrate knowing that he is trying his very best to cope with the sensory-overwhelming environment despite his autism.

When Amor shows irritability, I like the opportunity it gives me to practice being unwaveringly calm because modelling is the best way to teach what I want from her.

When Nathan shows agitation building up to violence, I relish the challenge of timing myself and beating my record time of helping him relax.

When I’m with Nathan and Ian asks for attention, I enjoy finding ways to adjust my games so that I can simultaneously entertain both boys, even if they are cognitively in very different levels.

When my kids fight, it’s a privilege teaching them to negotiate and deal amicability with each other. I enjoy watching them mature as they learn important negotiating skills.

When my children are afraid, I love to dive into understanding why so that I can provide the immediate security they need to help them overcome fear. I enjoy seeing that early support/security enables them to conquer anything that life throws at them later in the future.

Disclaimer: I have lots of hard times, but those I offer to God, knowing in full confidence that through Christ, He is excited about loving me and healing my children…He is not just being “patient” with me 😉

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Blessed by kids at the playground 

It’s such a blessing when kind souls come to play.
At the playground, I was playing at the sand pit with Nathan when a sweet girl curiously approached. Upon invitation, she happily helped pat down the sand mountain on Nathan’s legs.

Nathan and I were playing our echo game before she came. Nathan says crazy words and expects me to echo it back to him. Usually only both of us understand the rules to his games, but Nathan has learned to invite people to play. He requested, “Ana (not real name) say ‘da’ please.” She looked and him with a sweet baby smile and echoed “Da!”. She gets the rules of the game! 😉 Nathan broke into laugher and asked her to keep echoing. They exchanged sweet laughers. How awesome is that!

Because we have been spending lots of time getting to know Nathan’s world of autism, he now has the confidence to step out and reach out to others and invite them to play his silly games! 

Feeling blessed to meet such kind children at the park! 😇

In the photo: only her nanny was at the park, wish I could get permission from her parents for a photo, so this back view will have to do! Nathan was mesmerised with her, as he usually gets when with babies.

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Precious moments 

How awesome is that! I never thought these moments would come!
When Nathan got his autism diagnosis, I used to watch him from a distance in the park, checking if he would realise that I was no longer close to him. But I was the one who realised that I could be watching him for hours and hours and he would be so oblivious and never even know that he was missing. 

Today at the playground, when it was time to go home, Nathan started to swinging really hard and giggling as if teasing me that I wouldn’t be able to pull him away from the swing. His laughter makes me happy so I allowed him to stay longer, even after my count down…and stay longer…and longer…and longer…

I finally said my last invitation and told him that I would walk off and that I expect him to follow me. Guess what, he didn’t follow 😜. But as I walked away, he kept looking at me. When I turned to glance at him, he would swing hard, laugh and tease me again <happy sigh>. I shouted, “Nathan follow me!” He continued swinging and teasing me with a giggle. I walked further towards the exit of the playground. “Mama!” He shouted as he pointed to me. “Mama, walk please.” That means walk back towards him…when I did he would swing more and tease me 😆. 

I walked towards the exit. He kept looking. I walked far enough so that I can see him but he couldn’t see me (Stuff parents of toddlers do to check if the kids are paying attention or to check what the kids would do if they got lost). Nathan kept calling “Mama” louder and louder. Have you ever seen a child with autism persistently calling out for what he wanted? That’s the sound of heaven to parents of children with autism!

Finally Nathan got up from the swing and started to walk towards the exit, still calling out “Mama”. As soon as he spotted me hiding, he did a U-turned, giggled and started walking back ready to swing again😆. But I grabbed him by the hand and he willingly walked home with me. 

Throughout that whole period, Nathan as teasing me, calling me and keeping a look out for me. No longer oblivious in the playground! How awesome is that?

We have been blessed by God’s healing hand!

#SonRiseRocks!

I was too mesmerised by the moment to capture a photo. But here he is at the playground.