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Sing your way to healing 

Amor had another seizure. Two days later she has a high grade fever. I have to admit that I was praying out of fear, even if I know that fear attracts more fear. 
How do you give up fear when your child is very sick?

I have listened to many healing sermons but it seemed like I needed to listen to more. So I downloaded another sermon of Joseph Prince called “Praise Opens Doors To Grace.” It was a very lively sermon. Many times Pastor Prince actually sang his messages. He even shared funny moments when his neighbours had to knock on their door telling his Mother to ask him to tone down because he was singing loud worship songs in the shower and the whole block could hear it.

The message that I got from the sermon was that even before you experience the manifestation of healing, experience it through praise and worship. In other words, sing your way to healing. That resonates with my beliefs and is the reason why I love listening to Amor sing. For a child who used to have so much sensory issues, particularly hearing sensitivity, I know singing constantly heals her! So I sang my praise and worship songs in confidence of her healing.

I also asked close friends to Amor to pray for her recovery knowing that when 2 or more pray, God a answers. 

True enough Amor was well the next day and singing again. See photo. That’s a sign that she feels better. Her fever was completely gone after the 3rd day. 

Today, Nathan caught the fever and just as I did for Amor, I will sing in confidence knowing that God will keep protecting him from harm because Nathan still have a God-given mission to fulfil.

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Radically facing my fears

Amor had another seizure and fear tries to creep in again.
Instead of sending her to Sunday School we asked her to join us at Sunday service. It was a blessing that Dr. Marilyn Hicky was today’s guest speaker with the message of healing.

Amor sat attentively throughout the service. On the way home I asked her what was her favourite part. She said when “When Dr. Marilyn talked about the man who was healed and when she asked everyone to stand up (to claim personal healing).”

Tonight at bedtime Amor said, “When I grow up, I’m going to be a speaker like Dr. Marilyn Hicky and I will talk about Jesus!” 

I am claiming this as Amor’s first prophesy and revelation of her life’s purpose, in Jesus’ name! 

In the photo: Me, Amor and Lamy her lamb. Maybe in the future, Amor will have more to share about the greatest Lamb.

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Healing is on it’s way 

There was no Sunday school for special needs yesterday so Nathan was in church with us. I love praise and worship songs and I enjoyed it even more with Nathan next to me because I know that already Christ is healing Nathan.
In the photo: here’s Nathan, giving me a tight hug to regulate and clam himself, as the music or lights in this new place for him can be overwhelming.

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The chicken or egg question

What precedes grace?

Does God want us to be good first (i.e. follow His Law of 10 Commandments), so that He will reward us with grace after?

Or does God give us grace first, because He knows that by receiving His grace, we will have the strength to follow His commandments? 

I have my answers from the parenting truths that He reveals to me:

When I want my child to follow me, like when I want Amor not let go of my hand and run across the street, I have 2 options:

1. Give Amor “my rules” and maybe even add a dash of fear by saying “Do not cross the road, the cars might hit you!” But good luck with that! This I-will-do-everything-you-tell-me-NOT-to-do Daughter that I love, just tests my authority all the time 😉. I though maybe if I up the fear, she might follow…but the look on her face when I do that let’s me know I have unnecessarily used fear to move her.

2. Or I can give the Amor GRACE FIRST of celebrating whenever she is good at following instructions. I actively look for times when she listens to me and celebrate it. Like when she holds my hand, I cheer, “Thank you for holding my hand good girl!” When she stops at the traffics light, I cheer, “Wow! You are so good at following instructions! You even stop behind the yellow line on the ground!” As a result, of constantly verbalising and rewarding her good deeds, Amor proudly follows my continuous instructions. In the end our trip to the playground is safe and fun! That is so different from outings we used to have when I used to ask her to follow my rules first.

Disclaimer: I give “my rules” as a guidance to help my children understand safety precautions, but I give “my grace” FIRST to give them strength to know that they can follow “my rules”, despite their urge to break the rules (isn’t it a human urge to do what we are asked not to do 😉).

Giving GRACE FIRST to my kids have enabled Amor to overcome her sensory issues and irritability. Her diagnosis is Global Developmental Delay (GDD). When she was younger, but way past terrible 2s…3s, 4s, 5s, even 6s, she was always throwing tantrums on the ground or running away from us. We even lost her at the airport 😥. My heart would always leap if I didn’t see her. I needed to hold her hand when we were out. Because I now understand the gift of GRACE FIRST, Amor is overcoming her delays (even if experts consider it a life-log condition). She is picking-up responsibilities that I never though possible. I can now ask her to follow my rules and know in confidence that she will gladly do so.

Just as God has given me answers through my experiences as a parent, God gives us answers through scriptures. 

When Pharisees presented a woman to Jesus who was caught in adultery, what helped her move on in life to be a better person? The rules of the gift of grace first?  

Jesus chose not to condemn. Since the people insisted for justice against the woman sinner, Jesus did not condemn but let the sinless man be the first to throw a stone. None could do it because none were able to fully follow the 10 commandments. When no body threw a stone, Jesus blessed the woman with the no condemnation, the gift of GRACE FIRST. I’m sure that that gift, more than anything else, enabled that woman to “go forth and sin no more” as Jesus asked.

GRACE precedes GRACE!  Receive the GRACE that He has freely given us FIRST, so we go forth and bless others with our obedience to God.

In the photo: Me and my princess. Because of her prematurity and other medical conditions, Amor could have easily been an irritable/angry child. But by the grace of God, the grace that He has taught me to use, the sweet child that Amor was meant to be shines! #MyMiracle

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The truth about God 

Scholars can debate about the right interpretation of scriptures, religions can debate about who holds the truth about our creator…
…but there is a simply way to understand the truth about God…

God created us in His image. From His love for us, springs our love for our children. 

If we understand the power of our love for our children, magnify and purify that love, we will be able to understand God’s love for us. 

If we, who are imperfect, can use our imperfect love help our children flourish, what more Him who has perfect love for us?

I have twins with special needs. My Daughter, Amor, was diagnosed with Global Developmental Delay, her twin Brother, Nathan, has cerebral palsy and severe autism, a life-long condition characterised by lack of social skills…says Doctors, Therapists and other experts in the field. Nathan used to be so withdrawn, it was as if no body existing in the room. He was without intentional speech and he was becoming more violent and aggressive. I didn’t even know if he knew I was his Mother and that I loved him.

Praise God, I was led to a non-conventional therapy (The Son-Rise Program® for autism), that taught me to love my children unconditionally. 

It taught me how I can manifest that love in a way that my special twins could understand. It taught me not to fear their “different”, repetitive, exclusive behaviours but to join them and enjoy the fact that those sensory pleasures help them cope with their challenges.

It taught me to enter their world of autism first, and that was the best way they could understand how much I loved them.  

It taught me not to look at their deficits but to celebrate all their achievements big or small!  

It taught me that if my children ask and I grant it with excitement 🎉 they learn that their words are powerful and keep trying to use words, even if their speech is impeded neurologically.

It taught me that if I give them “full control” instead of discipline, they will chose to follow my guidance out of their own convictions and not out of fear or pressure to comply.

Today my Daughter blossoms. Once her weakness of hearing sensory issues is now her greatest strength and she sings and performs solo for school events. My Son with autism, now speaks spontaneously and persistently. He craves for my social attention. His hugs shows me he loves me. Nathan was once so withdrawn, I didn’t know when I would get hugs from him. Today, I bask in his hugs and love. See photo.

Love indeed conquers all. If I, an imperfect parent, can allow love to heal even neurological impairments, what more God’s perfect love for me.

Just as I learned to “join” my special twins, He sent Christ, to “join” us so that He could show us His love in a way we could understand.

Just as I learned not to fault my children but to celebrate their goodness, Christ came, not to condemn, but to give salvation to the sinners and to heal the sick. 

Just as my granting my children’s desires have helped them flourish, Jesus promised, “Ask and you shall receive!” 

Just as I learned to give my children “full control”, we were given free will. And with my free will I choose to Love my God with all my heart and all my might…but the truth is, all my heart and might came from His love for me first! 

The truth about God is in each one of us!

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I, the parent, have recovered

Nathan, was 5 years old when we first embarked on our Son-Rise journey. Soon after I came back from my first Son-Rise training, Nathan made so much progress. He started to talk, he started to point, he gained strong eye-contact and he started to connect with us…at last! I was so excited. He did so great that I thought that “I” could recover Nathan in a couple of years, faster than any other Son-Rise Programs in history…😄 nothing wrong with ambition 😄
Through the years, I wanted people to see the progress that I saw in Nathan. When friends and family visited, I would be so excited. I would even prep-up Nathan. I would make him sleep well and eat well. I would prompt him to greet people and say things or do things so that his progress with was made more evident.

Reflecting about why I did such things: I guess I needed to feel rewarded for all the “sacrifices” that I have made. I wanted to see measurable progress 

Last week friends came over for a prayer meeting. Lucky I was too busy preparing the house that I didn’t even think of prepping Nathan and boasting to old friends how far he has gone.

The night came and Nathan did as he wanted. He jumped with excitement as visitors came…and continued jumping and shouting long after they have settled. Some people might say “Why is he still excited?” Or “What’s funny Nathan?” He grabbed food from visitors’s plates. Without needing to explain to visitors, I just told Nathan that he did a good job targeting and getting what he wanted. He climbed on the table and I celebrated his strength and courage. He shouted his “autistic” words. And I echoed and shouted his words back to him, which made him laugh and say his crazy words again and again for me to echo back. When that was not enough for him, he asked my friend to shout autism language with him. And I coached her to do so, which made Nathan so happy. Nathan wanted more. He asked Tita “Other” to echo, because he couldn’t recall her name. It was crazy autistic yet so fun seeing how happy Nathan was.

I realised it’s wasn’t that important for me that Nathan does his best performance and act more typical. What was more important is seeing Nathan happy in a crowd.

Finally, I, the parent, have recovered! I have finally let go of my need to see him like a typical child.

When we first embarked on this journey, all I really wanted was for Nathan to know that I was right here loving him, even if he didn’t look at me, even if he didn’t respond to his name, even if he had didn’t know who I was, I just wanted him to know that I loved him. Son-Rise has allowed me to “reach” him and show that I love him.

The prayer meeting night was an opportunity for me to show him how much I deeply loved him, the way he is today, perfect with his autism, and not for who he will be tomorrow.

Yes, I have truly recovered.

I’m sure many will ask so I will go ahead and answer: No, I am not ending Nathan’s road to recovery here. I feel that letting go has allowed me to widen his road, making it much easier for him to journey forward.

I learn about loving Nathan from knowing how God loves me, complete with my imperfections. With knowing the immense love given to me, I have been blessed with so much more strengthen and endurance to journey forward.

In the photo: Nathan decided he wanted to be in the middle of our prayer meeting even if it was past bed time. Amor wanted the same but she went ahead and made herself comfortable.