Embracing autism instead of fearing it

Without The Son-Rise Program, I would have seen Nathan’s scripting as his deficiency, his autism, a tragedy, the brain injury the doctors saw from his baby brain scans. Thankfully, I see it now as my son trying his very best to communicate given what he has.

About 6 months ago, Nathan would string the craziest words together like, “dragonfly-spam” or “pumpkin-faucet” I would join him by stringing the same words together in a song or peek-a-boo manner, which made him laugh.

It was not what was said that mattered but how exciting it was repeated, how he looked at me and maintained eye-contact and how willing he was to keep this interactive game going.

Today this scripting game has evolved into an interactive game with questions and answers. One of us will ask while the other would answer then we would both laugh and cheer at how funny and interactive the game was. We ask silly questions like: What’s the sound of Teacher Eden sneeze (cough, laugh, fart, etc)? Then move on to anything under the sun like: What’s the sound of ? What’s the sound of ? Who (should make the sound next)? In the end we would have asked tons of questions all in lengthy “conversation”. Yes, a conversation with my son with autism!

We started our Son-Rise Program 2 years ago. Back then, Nathan had no intentional speech, he had very little eye contact, he would not even respond to his name. Back then, his future, or at least my impression of his future, was bleak.

Today, he is learning to spontaneously ask and answer “what” and “who” questions without dropping his glance. He is learning to make conversation. He craves for attention and approaches me anytime of the day wanting similar games to play. This is all because I chose to celebrate his scripting instead of fear it.

Life is beautiful! Thanks to the Son-Rise Program!

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So simple yet so blissful

After helping Nathan up the school bus, I had a small chat with the driver who said that Nathan has improved a lot and so has his twin sister, Amor.

I turned to look at Nathan and he said with an big smile “Bye-bye.” I gave him a big hug and blew him a kiss as I waived. He blew the kiss right back at me!

Wow! More than a year ago, the bus had to urgently leave as soon as Nathan is seated because he couldn’t understand waiting and would tantrum, even threaten to bite. Though at that time, he started saying “good bye”, his interactive attention span was not long enough to blow me a kiss. But today, it all seemed so simple for him 🙂

Life is good!

Understanding concepts

I’m so fascinated at how well Nathan has been expressing his understanding of concepts. He says:

I want water. Are you thirsty? (Translation: I am thirsty)

I want a snack. Are you hungry?

Look o. All the kids like it (scripting probably from school. Then, few minutes later:)
Can you see, all the children like it.

Unlike nouns, I was never sure if Nathan understood concepts like: hungry, thirsty, look and see. Apparently, he does.

Amazing how all in one day, so many concepts, well understood, are mentioned by Nathan!

Nathan has a best friend

Nathan’s classmate, Taka, used to watch teacher Son-Rise Nathan by “joining” autistic behavior (speaking the autism language first). In time Taka decided to join in the fun. Sometimes the teacher would step back and watch Taka Son-Rise Nathan.

As a result, the boys have created such a bond. When they see each other in school, they hug, kiss, tap each other, smile and laugh…my son actually plays with another child….he has a best friend :-D.

Who says a child with autism cannot make friends?

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Son-Rise parenting

It was as if the whole world stopped, the house became silent as Amor (diagnosis: Global Developmental Delay) reached for the angry birds play doh that Ian meticulously created and squashed them!

We have been teaching 5-year-old Ian (neurotypical) to choose to be happy (the son-rise attitude) and understanding towards his siblings with special needs. He hates it when kids destroy his masterpiece. Who wouldn’t? This was the test…

…silence as everyone looked at Ian and waited for his reaction…

Ian exclaimed, “Hurray!” Then nanny and mommy give a bigger celebration, “Hurray! Ian chose to be happy!”

I’m loving parenting the son-rise way!

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Nathan’s SPED teachers enjoying Son-Rise

Nathan’s Special Education Teachers have been doing some son-rise and “joining” Nathan at school, connecting with Nathan and seeing his spontaneity. In the past few days, they have been excited to share their moments. This was written in his communication notebook:

Sept 24, 2013
“Hi Chris,
Nathan has a good mood today…every time Ms. Sam imitate him, he laughs and giggles…He also joined our games, passing ball to another person and he liked it.”

Sept 20, 2013
“Hi Chris,
Hurray! Really thank God. Nathan joined with us in music and movement. At first we let him flap his cardboard. Then he suddenly stood up and said, ‘I want to dance.’ He held my hands. So we danced and clapped hands. He is so happy.
Regards,
Eden”

More spontaneous language

Amazing how spontaneously Nathan is picking up words :-). He has been asking more detailed requests.

Like, when I didn’t put enough meat on the spoon, in his next bite, he asked, “I want BIG meat.”

When his hands were slippery with shaving cream, he held the swimming cap (ism toy) and asked, “I want to PULL (open) please.”

Adjectives and verbs are hard to teach to kids with autism. Unlike nouns, it’s not easy to show them on photos. Kids with autism might look at big-small flash cards and say “elephant-mouse” instead. When Nathan used to look at “pull” flash cards, he used to say, “wagon!”

But now he understands and can demonstrate that he gets it!

That’s today’s miracle!

Joining to the max

If Nathan is really in an ism mode, can you imagine yourself joining for almost the whole hour? Can you imagine joining for months?

I am reminded of a son-rise story when all the volunteers did daily was run round their room with the child…for 8 months. I imagine some must have thought, “Are we getting anywhere?” Or “Will he really improve if we simply keep running with him and not teach him anything?”

After the 8th month, the body, who did not have speech in the beginning, started talking. Soon he pulled string of words together and even sooner he constructed sentences independently and spontaneously.

So the answer is “yes, when you invest time joining, the child becomes confident of your love and acceptance and will progress much faster.”

As I write this I can hear Tita Kitch becoming more and more comfortable joining and Nathan starting to ask her for things 🙂

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Never say never

When Nathan’s doctor reviewed his brain scans at 2 months of age, he suggested Nathan may never walk. Nathan has cerebral palsy, affecting his brain’s ability to control his trunk and leg muscles.

Look at a little stuntman today! He keeps daring to challenge his balance.

Never say never. There is more time for Nathan to learn to run, jump or even play soccer if he wants.

When I discovered the son-rise program, I threw out all the rules that made me control Nathan’s movements and behavior. With Son-Rise, for as long as Nathan was safe, I gave him full control and allowed him climb chairs and stand on table tops. In a month, even his physical therapist said, “It looks like Nathan woke up new muscles.” His posture was much better.

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